The Abyss

Dear Jaydan,

Your mother prepared a wonderful tribute
to her beloved son:

I ‘ve enclosed a note to you––

You didn’t know how much
you would be missed.
You didn’t know of our unfailing love for you.
Your mother, your father,
Your brothers and your sisters,
Your Gram and many others, too.

This abyss.

Every day
We think of you––
Of what could have,
What should have,
What would have,
Been.

This abyss.

I flew in a jet plane to see you
The day you were born.
Your sweet, tiny face shadowed
With my father’s image.

You were three weeks old
When you took your first jet ride
1,000 miles to your Gram’s house.
You were the tiniest of visitors.

They called you Jay-Jay the Jet Plane.
I called you Cricket.

IMG_3633
The Cricket and the Frog (photo credit: Jessica Martinusen)

I could not see you, but I could hear your teeny voice.

It was in a stupid moment, a cursed choice.
that will not allow us your face to see.
Let us hear you.

Many thoughts are of you this day––
Of what could have,
What should have,
What would have,
Been.

Your 18thbirthday.

With much love,

Gram-Gram,
from the abyss.

2 thoughts on “The Abyss

  1. Cheryl Mary Coleman

    What a beautiful and moving tribute to Jaydan. Your love and pain for his loss is palpable. My love flows to you and Jaydan’s family as I know from my own experience of losing my son that no amount of time ever heals the hole that is left behind in our hearts 💗

    Thank you for choosing to follow my blog, I really appreciate you taking the time 💚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. spoon13

      Thank you for your kind words and for returning the blogging favor, Cheryl. Yes, the pain is never leaves and the crater in our hearts remains. To say I’m sorry for your loss seems inadequate, but I’m sorry.

      Like

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