Letter to My Mom
(On the eve of the 7th anniversary of her death)
You tried. I tried. You gave up. I gave up. You were the adult. I was the child.
But you did not have the emotional tools or knowhow to figure us out. Neither did I. Nor I with my own.
It is all in the past. I forgive you; you didn’t know what you were doing. You are in heaven
; no pain in the memory, no bitterness in the recollection. No resentment to purge from your soul. No, no more.
I’m happy for you. Be happy for me. God has cleansed my sin of hatred for you and carried my wounds under His blood.
See ya later but not soon.
Love (I can say it now),
The daughter you always wanted.
Letter to My Daughter
Dear Daughter, *
You are the daughter I always wanted. When you didn’t act in the ways I was taught a little girl should, I didn’t know what to do. You faced cultural norms my generation never had to endure. I thought it was my job to control you, and shape you into what society said. I was wrong. It took heaven to show me.
It’s all in the past, blurred, for here in my forever home, I have no pain, no bitterness nor resentment of your rejection of me. All is at peace.
I am happy for you. I am happy you stood for yourself and your convictions even though I thought they were convoluted. I secretly admired you for that, but conventions would not allow me to put it on display.
Be happy for me. I too have the festered wounds placed under His blood
Until we meet again in the distant future,
Love, (I also can say it now),
Your Mom, the only mama you had.
PS: Don’t forget to change your underwear every day!
*Yes, this an edited version. I tried to strikethrough the errors in this edit but I could not make it make sense.